Lorchen,

You are correct about the "new step Mother". Blended family weddings offer the most challenges for a coordinator. Lots of emotions--not counting the bride. I usually had a very frank discussion with the families (all of themm) to let them know that the wedding day is a day to set aside personal feelings and celebrate the joyous union of two special people in their lives. Works most of the time. But, I have done a lot of hand holding and tactical manueuvering as well over the years. A challenging day to say the least. The main thing for the coordinator is to appear like a duck on a pond. Calm on top and paddle like h-ll underwater. LOL

Just may have to call Alex for the dress. But,we are talking Colorado in December. It may be a bit cold.

Lilo

Oh what fun! Your kids will probably get a kick out of coming to your wedding too.
Karen

See, now you all have me thinking about planning weddings!!! Actually I sort of have to plan my own, lol. My husband and I were married almost 11 years ago at the small church where I was a member at the time - Rj was Ukrainian Catholic and did not want to force me to convert. Anyway, as time went I ended up converting to Roman Catholic, but nothing was ever said about my marrage and we went on not knowing there was any problem until recently when a new priest came to our parrish. We were talking about weddings and I mentioned that my husband and I were not married in a Catholic church. WELL... seems in the eyes of the church we are not really married then :shock: :shock: :shock: It is easily rectified - we just have to hold another ceremony with the priest. We could just do it in his office with a witness, or we could have some fun with it and have a full out second wedding. We are thinking Hawiian themed with the groom in Hawiian shirt and white pants and me in a moomoo, lol... And then a big party afterward for all our friends!!!

I've been thinking...... (very dangerous activity).... If/when one of my lads gets married I could try and persuade Justin to come and be my escort for the day (very, very cheeky grin).

Lorchen

Recently, DD#2 got married. In March, she got married in jeans with just her mom and dad and his family. Then in June they had an outdoor wedding in a wedding dress and tie. Everyone was dressed casually and the kids even went swimming. She, too, said it was everything she wished it could be.

My daughter's wedding in 1996 was somewhat unusual. She wanted to be married outdoors, but the local bishop would not permit it. So we had two weddings - with a rehearsal lunch in between! On Friday morning, she wore a street-length white dress and he a suit when they were officially married in the Catholic chapel on the UW-Madison campus in front of immediate family and members of the Saturday wedding party. We then went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. Since the couple and most of the people in attendance had participated in local community theater productions, I presented each member of the party with T-shirts in the wedding colors, printed with a personally-designed wedding "logo" on the front, and a theater-related term for their "part" on the back. Bride and groom were "Star", dads were "Producer", moms were "Director", grandmas were "Technical Advisor", bridesmaids and groomsmen were "Supporting Cast", etc. We all changed into jeans and the shirts after lunch and went to the park to decorate for the Saturday wedding, complete with party subs for dinner. Then on Saturday, the "Celebration of Marriage Vows" took place in the park, with the long white dress and all the trimmings. Her god-father, a lay minister, presided over a ceremony he helped the couple write. The evening finished with a picnic-style dinner and dance in the park pavilion. She's always said it was everything she wanted it to be, and thankfully the weather (always challenging in Wisconsin) cooperated - it didn't begin to rain buckets until Sunday morning!

This has been a fun thread - brought back memories of each of our children's weddings. When my son got married, we owned a cross country ski lodge (a financial disaster - but that's another story). The outdoor wedding was there and most of the relatives were staying there; so rehearsal dinner was there, too. Everyone pitched in to help decorate, etc. It was a great time for all - very casual and fun. A year later when my daughter got married, we no longer had the lodge. She wanted her rehearsal dinner to be a BBQ at our house, with all the family & friends, volleyball net set up, etc. But alas, it was not to be. The groom's father wanted something more formal and limited to the wedding party. Other than that, everything about her wedding weekend was perfect. And I am blessed by the spouses both of my children chose

You leave the wedding rehearsal thinking the wedding is going to be a disaster but enough sinks and everyone ends up where they are suppose to be. My daughter married in Dec 2001 and the rehearsal dinner was catered in the fellowship hall at the church and it was before the rehearsal so everyone was there and ready to practice on time.

When the time comes for my two sons, the problem will not be rehearsals, but how to 'accommodate' my ex-husband and his wife. I sometimes think that my older son (nearly 30 and living with the same wonderful girl for nearly 8 years) is not married yet for exactly that reason. I'm not the problem, the other wife is. Ah well, as the kids say: 'We are saving quite a lot of money by not getting hitched right now.'

By the way, I thought that Alex looked stunning in that dress (and not a single 9-Patch in sight)! Lilo, maybe you could borrow it when your son gets married?!

Lorchen

Thank you all for your prompt and informative replies. isn't this the best site, any type of information that is needed is readily supplied. as i said i have been curious about this event over the years and i think Alex's talk of weddings piqued my interest again and i knew if i brought the subject up here that i would get my answer. thanks again
Jenny in Oz

Speaking from the point of a wedding coordinator (my last job before joining TQS), I can highly recommend a wedding rehearsal. It makes for a MUCH smoother wedding day, when everyone involved has had a chance to practice and knows when to walk in and where to stand. The rehearsal is held usually the day before the wedding, however, it depends on the venue's availability. As the rehearsal involves the entire wedding party and family it is customary for the groom's family to provide a dinner that day. It can be elaborate or very casual. I have been to casual BBQ places and very upscale dinners.

My oldest son is getting married around Christmas, so I can certainly relate. As he will be out of town for most of this planning, he has asked me to help out. His choice for a rehearsal dinner is a local restaurant that specializes in Colorado Wild Game.

Lilo

I've understood it to be the groom's parents that traditionally host the rehearsal dinner. You're right, it can be as simple as a cook-out at the groom's parents' home, or an elaborate affair. As both of our sons were married quite a distance from our home, we elected to have the dinner at restaurants for both occasions, with a set menu, with a couple of entree choices. Neither affair had alcohol, though. It all depends on the couple and on the families involved. The bride's family helped us with the arrangements, as we did not know what was available in the different cities, but we paid for everything. As the bride's family traditionally pays for most of the other expenses, I think it's a good way for the groom's family to contribute and to participate. But truthfully, that's not always feasible and the bride's parents might want to do it all, and that's perfectly OK, as well.

As far as I've ever heard the bride's family covers the wedding reception and the groom's takes care of whatever the rehearsal dinner is. The members of the wedding party are rehearsing so everybody knows where to stand and where to go during the wedding so it will go smoothly. The dinner doesn't have to be a real big deal so I think most people, rich or regular, have one. Ours was a get together at my Mother and Father in Laws house.
Karen

It has been my experience that most weddings have a rehearsal dinner of some type, but it can be as big and extravagent at a fully catered affair or as small as a cook out on the brides parents front lawn. I thought it was the bride's family that covered the rehearsal dinner though - I know my mother paid for mine (rented a room at a nice local Italian restraunt - just wedding party, close family, and out of state guests), and others I know the bride's family paid for as well. I always thought it went that the bride covered the rehearsal dinner and wedding the groom's family paid for the reception and honeymoon. Of course, my dh and I paid for it mostly ourselves so I might be wrong