My husband and I moved to a small town in northwest Montana, about 6 years ago. There is no family here, but we just loved the area, so moved here, after many years of traveling in our motorhome. I found small towns to be very "clickish" and it takes a while to really get to know people. Most of the women in our guild have gone to kindergarten together, and the "Tuesday group" of appliqué ladies is impenetrable. And, most of them even belong to the same church. It probably took me 4 or 5 years to fit in. What really helped me was not to just join the local guild, but to jump in and work a major job on our quilt show. I learned their names, talked on the phone with many of them, and then they began to know ME. I also went to the retreats. Eating meals with them, sharing a room, getting silly, just being girls. I still don't have a BFF in the group, but feel welcome whenever I walk into the meeting now. Most say "Hello" to me or ask what my current project is.
I think the trick is to join whatever you can! A guild, church or a bible study like BSF, maybe a gym, a garden club, etc. You can always drop out later if you don't find fulfillment, or friends. And, making friends with the gals in the LQS helps, too. And, taking classes there. You'll also meet other grandparents at the grandkids functions and sports. Who knows what friendships will happen there?!
We've been lucky to find great doctors and dentists. But, you can always join Angie's List for that, too! Good luck!
Dawn,
In beautiful Northwest Montana