Dear Patti - I'm afraid what others are saying is right. Your sister is the only one who can pull herself out of this. Sometimes, along with jail time, rehab is a requirement. I hope your sister can do this. I attended a luncheon yesterday and my friend said "it's my birthday today." I knew it wasn't because we had celebrated her birthday on March 6. Yesterday was her 23rd birthday for being sober! Please know there is always hope. And it's okay to let your sister know that, while you don't always like her, you will always love her. Hugs to you, Carolyn in Kerrville, TX

Patti it is right your sister has to hit rock bottom before she will wake up and hope that she dose not take a life of some one. My dd Stacy was in to drugs and she had to hit rock bottom before she was will to say she had a problem now she is clean and is helping your Aunt to under stand why her dd is doing what she is doing I had a father that drank very night growing up day after day and said I would not do that to my kids because it is not fair to them My dad stop drinking because I tell him he would not be able to see my twins when they were borned if he was drinking so he stop because he said they more important to him then the beer and I was so proud of him I know he stoped because they had to come and live with us to stay with me when DH was at work because I had to stay in bed after the 6 th month we went throw a lot of soda then Happy

Rachel, prayers are going your way for you to feel better, and please take care of yourself.

Patti and Julie praying for you and your loved ones, hope all get to be better soon.

Margarita in Auburn, CA

Thanks Teri and Julie. I was thinking about the meeting idea too for family members. Julie I hope both your Father and FIL get hooked up with the right doctors to diagnose and solve the problems.

Patti - Hugs and hang in there. Maybe some time in jail will get her to help herself. That certainly doesn't mean you don't care and won't be there for her. I like the idea of you going to meeting to learn how to help your sister.

Now my request for prayers. My father and father-in-law are in need of major prayers.

My father has not been steady on his feet, memory problems, and other physical symptoms for about a year now with no definite diagnosis. He and my mom spend 2 1/2 months in Florida and while down there he has been getting worse and was seen at the hospital. It sounds like normal pressure hydrocephalus (too much fluid pressing on the brain). They are home from Florida now, my brother ended up driving them back. He has an appt. at Univ. of Iowa in a week and we will know if he is a candidate for a shunt. It's scary because he's falling now even when sitting.

My FIL fell in his apartment on Wednesday and broke his left upper arm in several places. Fortunately no surgery is needed at this time. He lives in a phased retirement community that has a Health Service wing (infirmary) so he is well taken care of right now. We will now more after his follow-up appt. on Monday.

My prayers for all that are dealing with health issues of loved ones.

Patti,
I'll pray that your sister hits bottom. I know this sounds cruel however it's the best thing for her. Not doing anything right now is the only loving thing you can do for her. She has to want to and be ready to take charge of getting sober. You know deep down that there is no amount of reasoning with her because you know that you can not truly reason with a drunk.
You've done all you can. Pray for her know. Attend an Al-Anon meeting for support & strength through all of this.

Teri

Well trying to turn my lemons into lemonade this week went sour yesterday. I had fun with the irate passenger, the rain, the flood, the bad hair and picture day. Almost got thru me becoming irate at Comcast and a fellow customer calling me a B**ch. But the show stopper was finding out my sister is sitting again in jail for drunk driving. I feel like I've just been punched in the stomach. I have no clue what if anything I should be doing. I can't save her. My first response was to do an intervention and find a rehab for her. My cousin points out she may not have the option to leave jail this time. Please pray for my sister. Sorry but it's more than she's doing for herself but she's on such a fast track of self destruction. It's so hard for me to keep away from being an enabler because in my youth, I had friends who let me cry on their shoulders untiringly and I want to be there for my sister. It's so hard to distinguish help from harming her with enabling.

Rachel glad to hear you are starting to feel better. But do not over do it or you will have a set back Happy

Karen and Florence your are so right about your views on cancer, and thank you for recomending Hospice. For those of you who don't know Hospice is not just for those who have a terminal illness. It is for those who have a potentially terminal illness and wish for dignity over heroics. Comfort over clinical trials that may or may not work. They are also a really good sounding board for your aggrivation and a shoulder to cry on. Also most workers care and protect the family even after the patient is gone. I loved working for Hospice. It was a very hard but rewarding job. I wish you all the best just don't give up hope.
Ritzy I am glad to hear an update on Jordan. I know how important it is to have a good support unit around while you are doing therapy so I do pray that he can find somewhere soon that is close by.
I am feeling somewhat better today. I can breathe easier and I have more energy. I managed to get through my coaching responsibilities yesterday. Thank God almost hallf the kids were absent. that cut the times in half. Then I came home and crashed. Thank you all for thinking of me
Rachel

Please pray for Gerda. She is a dear, elderly lady from my church and they took her to the hosp. via ambulance in the middle of the night. She was "spitting up blood". She had been sick with a cold. They think it may be pneumonia. Thank you.

Eileen if this really looks like it's terminal, I recommend Hospice. They have terrific information and support. Contacting them is not a sign of defeat. I'm sure someone in your local hospice organization would really be able to help you.
Questions like "how are you" are so common they beget a common answer, but questions like "what have you been thinking about?" or "are you scared" allow the patient (or caregiver!) to unload, if they're so inclined.
Praying for you all,
Florence

You all are in my prayers every day. My friend called from CA and told me her husband is now going through chemo and radiation for pancreatic cancer. Please keep Jim in your prayers too. We are all going through trials, I've been told, so we will be stronger. Not easy to hear, not easy to say, and not easy to go through. But we will get through it.
Joan

Eileen I think the hardest thing about someone having cancer is how everyone doesn't know just what to say to the person with the cancer. During my DS's lung cancer 2 years ago I thought the phone would be ringing off the wall after her surgery and chemo, but that isn't what happened. No one wanted to say the wrong thing. What my DS needed was to talk about it...her fears, her hope, her confusion, her pain, but most of all about how she was going to beat this and be well again....her goal was to be a survivor and she wanted support in the form of just talking to people in an everyday way. I was her caregiver for about 8 month's as she went through this and I was the person who heard all the other things she was thinking about. That was a big part of my roll in her cancer treatment. Her Doctor told me to not be afraid to talk about all the issues concerning her surgery and chemo treatments. So my sister and I talked, cried and laughed and she is a survivor.
I pray your DH's daughter is one also. Karen

Eileen praying for your sister & boyfriend...lung cancer ain't pretty.


Job update: dh has had 3 interviews in the last month or so. He got a second interview on one and will hear further on the other two within a few weeks. Each position has potential. This one he had the second interview with is something he'd really enjoy. So we'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks.

Thanks for your support through all of this!

Teri