I'm finally going to chime in here I've very much enjoyed reading everyone's comments! This being my second time through the book, I've had some wonderful feelings of accomplishment in seeing that I've worked through some of the issues you are all expressing here. It's still a process/journey, but I've come a long way.
I chuckled at my notes in the sidelines of the book (from the first time through) about critics and crazymakers. When it comes to quilts, I've overcome those remarks and chalked it up to "perspective". Huge word in my life. It's okay if someone sees my art differently than I do. I, like Jody, have taken the lesson to heart about the different types of criticism. That's likely why you all have noticed my coming to the defense of others when they've been cruelly and unconstructively criticized others publicly here.
I've also finally come to the place that I honor and respect myself enough to remove myself from people who continue to criticize, dismiss, condemn and otherwise attempt to make ME feel "less than", (as a person, here), even when it is my own family. Although I realize it's my choice as to whether I take a comment as criticism, purposely putting oneself in the line of fire is less than sensible. It's unnecessary to go into details because I've put it behind me, and forgiven. When the behaviors continue though, there comes a time to set boundaries and claim such as unacceptable and intolerable. How many times do you put your hand out to be bitten by a dog? Got the picture, I'm sure.
So, I've recovered a sense of safety (week 1), a sense of identity (sense 2), and a sense of power (week 3). Not ALL of this is from the book, but it certainly assisted along the way. Synchronicity put other beneficial people and blessings in my life to accelerate that healing.
Anyhow, it's wonderful to see others grow through this process. It makes a positive difference in our world, and that's important!
My favorite quote from this week is:
"The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels"
(Hazrat Inayat Khan)
From the Identity chapter:
"Snipers are people who undermine your efforts to break unhealthy relationship patterns". Hmmmm.
(Jody Hayes)
Hugs to everyone!
Jan in Spokane

I recommend re-watching Episode 105: Jump-Starting Creativity. So much of what Alex, Ricky and guest Barbara Olson talk about is what we are talking about here. Inspiration, creativity, fear of failure. I'm getting much more out of the episode now than I did the first time I saw it.

My gosh- reading through this thread is so inspiring--thank you all!!!

Margo & Judy
Thank you. I think it feels good to release the negative energy that they have made me feel. I can't imagine myself asking if they would like to have something now I might get an answer that I might be hurt by still. Even though it may sound harsh to give them back the same medicine I think I can do it with out feeling to bad, they don't feel bad so why should I. I've actually had enough of this type of repeated non sense,my group here is a tuff bunch it seems. I have marked off quite afew from my list of giving gifts.
I'm gonna keep to my therapy of expression of giving back what I receive in the kindest of way! LOL!
Kathy

I'm the perfectionist in our family - I grew up with a very critical mother and have never wanted to be like that to my children, so I tend to be most critical with myself.
I loved in chapter 3 how she describes bad criticism vs good criticism. I used the book and made a list so I could see it in front of me. Since I'm most critical with myself, looking at the list is helping me to see if what I'm hearing in my head is helping me or hurting me.
Here's the list I made - but I might have missed some. Please feel free to add on:

Bad criticism:
ridicules
condemns
dismisses
disparages
it's vague & indifferent
shames (uses a shaming voice)
causes withering
often inaccurate
is blanket in its condemnation
ambiguous in content
leaves you feeling bludgeoned

Good criticism:
Shows me a new & valid pathway for work
It will ultimately leave me with one more puzzle piece for my work.

And by the way, Margo - thank you for sharing that quote from Nelson Mandela - that was extremely inspiring!

Katzz, some people are not "quilt worthy". When I made loads of cute little quilts for my DGD, my ex DIL would say, oh another quilt, what on earth am I going to do with another quilt?
Hellllllooooo, they are to play with and sit on and play I Spy with etc. Needless to say, I still make them and they are at my son's house for the girls to play with and use. I made sure everyone of them left her house. So I know how hurtful people can get. My own DH lets me spend the $ to shop but has no interest in my quilts. I get a "that's nice" or "when are you going to sell some" but coming from him that is a compliment. He isn't broken out with compliments nor ever has been.

Maybe I should get that book and start the chapters with you. Judy in AZ

Colleen I was one of those and didn't even realize it. Not about quilting but it was with my son when he was in school. We always ate dinner together and I would often ask about school, how did you do an a test, grades on reports cards, and I thought I was being supportive by pointing out you made a B, if you had studied you could have made an A-. Finally one day, he asked me why I could never be satisified that if he made 90 I wanted a 95. What I saw and being encouraging and supportive she saw as being critical and never satisified. We talked about it and I understood where he was coming from. Well said Margo.

stormymountain wrote:
Oh, Colleen! It must be tough to live with the Quilt Police!! YIKES!!
I make a motion that you expain to said officer how his criticism makes you feel and that sometimes he needs to be more gentle with you! He probably isn't aware of how much those comments are affecting you. And you can always come here for a pat on the back and an atta-girl!!! Unless you are making quilts destined for the scrutiny of a show judge, perfect isn't always the destination!

Perfectionism. My husband is a perfectionist and will look at my work (which he is very supportive of), and will point out the mistakes. The wobbles in quilting or a corner not perfect, or the tension off. I hadn't realized the affect this was having on me until I couldn't get started on quilting the most recent quilt. I appreciate his feedback, and it makes me try harder much of the time. But this time it just blocked me. I think the reason this book is helping is that it reassures us that it is common to feel this way. And this is an issue to work through.

Colleen

Hey Katzzz, glad to have you here. Are you working through the book? It tells us that we need to avoid the people who make us feel like that and surround ourselves with supportive people. Maybe when you craft gifts (like your hot pads) you could say something like "I made these hot pads and wondered if you would like to have one". Then if they don't want them, you get to keep them to give to someone more appreciative. I, too, have run into insensitive, rude responses to my gifts, but I've come to the conclusion that those people really just aren't worth the effort that it takes to make hand crafted gifts, and I've quit making things for them. That's what gift certificates are for!! LOL!!
As for letting things go....I find that writing it all out on the computer helps me to vent. Then I don't confront the rude people, but I feel better. Sometimes my computer has nearly SMOKED from the passion of my flying fingers!!!

Elizabeth...I'm with you...I would rather be at home than in a guild meeting. When I'm here I can sew to my heart's content, I don't have to work on guild projects that I'm really not interested in, and I can check TQS whenever I take a break!

sandytn wrote:
Synchronicity!!!
Eileen

Okay, I have to admit with all honesty I don't like being that type of person who has to feel hurt and to reach for the same level of non kindred spirits, Which I have.
So How do I search my soul/heart for peace and serenity to let go of these scars that hurt and for others that may come my way this is my big struggle,should I; be the better person, don't speak about it, let it go in one ear out the other. See thats part of why I'm confused. I was always taught maybe therapy is good but I know my therapy would make me feel even worse. It is really a heart ache at times, very hurtful. ((Gotta put a smile on my face and just let them roll off)). Let them feel good about them selves I only have to Live with me.
I'm so really.
Kathy

I am always careful when I tell people that I am a quilter. My friends are not quilters and they know that I am and they are very supportive. But when I meet people, or for example, when I had a girls week-end with some high-school friends that I hadn't seen in 10 years...I hesitated telling them about my passion. It is hard when you don't have a kindred spirit that is in the neighborhood or in your family. My immediate family(DH, DD and DS) are very supportative. I don't go to my guild meetings because they meet at night and I truly want to be home with my DH at night. Maybe I need to try harder to go to guild meetings.
Elizabeth

Thank you, for allowing me to have my therapy,I needed this and I feel much better already. Thank you for all the great support.
Tommorrow I'll be bored out of my mind while I quilt my Dresden plate! LOL! ((Not!)) I think I can laugh along with people being unkind and use the reverse frame of mind letting it make them feel just as good.

Margo
Hey Margo,
I use the designs that I paid for too,isn't that just rad!
guess I cheated too because I used a quilting template that I paid for,its a beautiful design I just couldn't resist using it, I think youre gonna Love it! I added some wacky first feathers freehand drawling too. Go Margo,your design will be simply beautiful I just know it.
Okay,let me have at them! LOL!